'Please be careful driving up Main Road in Howick towards Greendale side. Outside the Methodist Church there is a massive pothole that takes up half the lane. We have requested that it is repaired urgently.
We painted a white line around it this afternoon to warn those motorists who may not know about it.' shared Janis Holmes on Facebook.
Thank you Janis, your effort is appreciated as this has been a growing problem.
I haven’t written much about the importance of relationships during stressful times. But, I am hearing more and more of home environments in which interpersonal tension (and frustration) is beginning to reach dangerous levels.
So it seems that now is a good time to give attention to how we can strengthen our relationships to help ensure that emotional support is available when we most need it (which, for many of us, is right now).
First of all, and perhaps somewhat surprisingly, research shows that the quality of your relationships has an influence on every aspect of your health and that people with strong social connections have better health and longer lives.
From your relationship with yourself to your children, friends, and romantic partners, each of these holds significance for your short- and long-term health outcomes, starting in childhood and having a cumulative effect throughout life.
Our connections to others are integral in how we are able to manage life, deal with stress and find a feeling of belonging. Yet, most of us stumble when it comes to overcoming challenges with those we love, and these relationship difficulties are often highlighted during periods of chronic stress such as is currently the case for almost all of us.
So, how can your relationship with someone affect your physical and mental health?
Firstly, our social connections influence our actions and, often, how we feel about ourselves. Socialising with someone who eats really well can inspire you to do the same while socialising with someone who always criticises and/or complains is very likely to have a negative impact on your sense of self.
Our social ties also impact our health on a cellular level. Studies have found social connections can influence the way our immune system responds to challenges, as well as our inflammatory pathways which, we now know, have a significant impact on our brain functioning and mental health.
Friend power definitely appears to be more impactful than willpower. Strengthening your friendships and having a supportive community provides numerous health benefits, as indicated above.
Studies show that the ability to feel connected to others is neurobiological. Our brains are also wired in a way that causes us all to want connection and be part of a group (e.g. a family or “tribe”). So embrace that instinct by continually working on your relationships with friends that elevate you, the people who make you your best self.
Importantly, research also shows that the best way to connect with others at a meaningful level is through talking about, or exposing, those aspects of yourself that make you feel awkward, uncomfortable and/or ashamed. This is what vulnerability is all about.
During stressful times like these, when you might be feeling that you are not coping with life, or are failing to deal with what life has thrown you, it is very easy to feel some level of shame.
And it can be difficult, if not impossible, to admit any of this to those in your social network. In other words, it can be very difficult to allow ourselves to be vulnerable with, and accept love and support freely from, those we know well (and those we know less well).
Still, in order for you to feel connected to another person, you have to allow your self-perceived weaknesses to be seen and/or known. You have to be vulnerable.
And yet many of us numb, avoid, or disconnect from, vulnerability. However, you cannot selectively numb or avoid difficult feelings such as vulnerability, disappointment, grief, fear or shame without numbing the other emotions.
So when we numb those, we numb joy, gratitude, and happiness. And then we feel miserable, and we look for purpose and meaning. And then we feel vulnerable, so we have a couple of beers (if we can get hold of them) and/or a whole bar of chocolate.
The other way to live your life, especially during these difficult and uncertain times, is, as the vulnerability expert Brene Brown says, to let yourself be seen, deeply seen, vulnerably seen; to practice gratitude and joy in those moments of fear and uncertainty. Just to be able to stop and, instead of catastrophising what might happen, to say, "I'm just so grateful because to feel this vulnerable means I'm alive."
And, we need to believe that we are enough. Because when we work from a place that says, "I'm enough," then we are kinder and gentler to ourselves, and we are kinder and gentler to the people around us. And our relationships become stronger and we feel more supported, and we are able to cope better with the curve balls that life throws us.
Competition time...
Prior to the lockdown, I decided to give time and energy to creating a range of courses that would help individuals achieve excellent mental health, a sharp and vibrant mind, and a brain that functions optimally. The competition that is mentioned in the title of this newsletter requires you to put your thinking cap on and come up with a catchy name for my new psychology-related training “school” / services. The best name wins its creator free access to my online courses, including my 8-week “Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction” course and/or my 3-week “Dealing with Depression without Drugs” course.
Send your ideas to my email address: This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.
And keep an eye open for my next newsletter delivered to your inbox next week.
With warm regards,
Alistair Mork-Chadwick (Psychologist)
'In the midst of a rapidly contracting economy in limbo under an extended lockdown, today’s (21 May 2020) announcement of a further reduction of 50 bps in the repo rate will have a positive effect on the residential property market, albeit deferred until potential buyers can begin transacting in earnest.' says Dr Andrew Golding, chief executive of the Pam Golding Property group.
More about your local Pam Golding Properties.
As the first cold front rolled in last week, Angel's Care Centre managed to get 350 blankets to desperately cold and needy children. They honestly cannot thank everyone enough for making this possible and only wish they could have shared the moment of pure joy and gratitude with you. They hope to continue raising funds for the expansion of our winter warmth programme to not only ensure that the children are warm but also their families. If you can contribute towards blankets (R100 each), or drop off anything warm at the centre it would be hugely appreciated. http://www.angelscare.co.za/donate.
Their thanks goes out to Makro PMB for sourcing 350 blankets for Angel's Care in record time and helping to load into not one but two bakkies (thankfully Qondile Branding and Signage Qondile Stay Real came to the rescue as they ran out of space). They have been completely overwhelmed by the incredible support received and promise that they are doing everything in their power and budget to look after the most precious children and their families.
Photo credit: Dané Turvey.
News from Angel's Care Centre.
Congratulations to Alex Candler who was selected to be a part of the U19 Shadow Squad of the U19 South African Girls Team that will attend the inaugural U19 Girls World Cup.
News supplied.
The Ugly Duckling is pleased to announce that their new and improved website is live! They are now allowed to sell all products online and ship immediately - please visit their website to see what beautiful products we have on offer at www.theuglyduckling.co.za.
More about The Ugly Duckling.
Howick High's Grade 9 learners have been creating the most awesome masks as their learning task during the COVID-10 Lockdown. Age Quod Agis Grade 9's!
The staff look forward to seeing more wonderful masks soon.
News from Howick High School.
'Today we celebrate our Howick Hospice Nurses. The amazing women that they are that go above and beyond!
May all the care and kindness you give come back to warm your heart.' shared Howick Hospice of their Facebook page.
Pictured from left to right: Sister Carolee Thompson, Sister Chantal Hathorn, Clinical Manager Charlotte Woudberg, Sister Bev Gibson and Sister Nola Poole.
News supplied by Howick Hospice.
Hello Little Mozambique Familia! We have a special Lockdown menu designed just for you. Give us a call to book and we will talk you through our pick up/delivery process and payment.
Tel. 073 997 4747
Visit our website for more information - https://www.littlemozambique.com/
Groundcover is more than just a leather shop selling shoes and handbags it is a place where commitment to staff and community is taken seriously.
Situated along the scenic Curry’s Post road the historic shop selling the sought after genuine leather goods may be all you notice if you pop in on a sunny day. Smiling Thuli, the sales lady usually offers customers advice and a smile. The smell of tanned leather is likely to leave a deep impression and if you look out of the window you will see a herd of Nguni cattle grazing on the hill.
But around the corner, the busy leather workshop is a hive of activity as this is where the shoes, are manufactured, up the wooden and Nguni hide stairs you may find Amanda McCarthy checking her emails and trying to sort out customer queries.
Groundcover was her husband Justin’s vision and together they worked very hard to build the brand and establish the workshop and shop, tragedy struck when he was killed in a tragic bicycle accident a few years ago, Amanda was left to make the business work.
It may have been a temptation to pack up and leave, but for this Midlands stalwart, Amanda felt she was too deeply connected to the land and to the families who have built up the business with her, the business had become them, Amanda McCarthy was not going anywhere.
One of her beliefs is that her staff’s children should get the best access to education possible and often you may see the Groundcover delivery vehicle stopping off at the local schools in Howick fetching the children after school.
The staff at the shop and at the factory may not be paid enormous salaries but the friendly attitude and perks make up for a traditional setting; they know they are valuable members of this industrious little company. Amanda said: “We grew up in the Apartheid era and we knew it was wrong for certain people to have access to all the benefits.
We felt that we really ought to make a difference, so we left the country after University and joined a cultural development project in Lesotho, where the idea was to teach the local people how to make leather goods.
“Our idea was to empower people by sharing skills. We had a wonderful time and at that time we focused a lot on hand-stitching and giving people skills they could adapt.
“When we decided to come back to South Africa and we decided to settle in the Midlands, we thought Groundcover would be a vehicle to teach people skills to create their own micro-businesses, but our focus moved to uplifting our immediate community. Our staffers needed housing and their children needed schooling and so our focus changed.
Some people make shoes to make profits, but we like to think that we make shoes to build community. They employ 25 people and they sell their shoes through other outlets.
Amanda said they liked to make decisions together with their staff and if someone was off sick, the others pulled their weight, because they knew if they got sick they would also be supported.
A strong part of their ethos is after-sales service and shoes can be re-soled. One of the initiatives that Justin started was to make shoes for those people who battled to find shoes because of their strange feet. Podiatrists refer clients to their shop to get comfortable shoes made up.
Amanda said their shoes were supported by locals because they knew the shoes were made by a local business “with heart”. She added: “The process has become more mechanized but we still make sure we stick to the principles of good leatherwork.”
The little historical sales shop is a tourism drawcard. It is an Oregon pine and tin house. They bought and re-assembled it on their property in 1994. It originally came from England as a house kit over 100 years ago and was ordered by a colonial farmer who needed a home. It arrived in Delagoa Bay and was transported to Creighton by ox-wagon to the Smiths who owned it originally. The McCarthy’s bought it 80 years later and it re-assembled it as their shop and showroom in Curry’s Post.
Another beautiful feature at Groundcover is the exquisite sculpture in the garden of the Grimm’s - Elves and the Shoemaker done by Karkloof sculptor Abbo Hall. It is a fine and detailed permanent sculpture that captures some of the magic of the story and of the labour and dedication that goes into making fine handmade goods.
The latest addition is The Barn Owl, a beautiful artisan Coffee Shop situated in front of the Groundcover Shop. It also does cakes and light lunches. Lately, it has broken into the niche market of small weddings, ideally suited to this with its beautiful location, and attractive interior.
More about Groundcover Leather Company.
Fern Hill Hotel's Snooty Fox Restaurant is maintaining extreme health and hygiene measures this side. Food is cooked by 1 chef, packaged with extreme measures and very carefully delivered to our customers. Getting ready-made meals incurs less hand to hand transfers then going shopping at the moment.
Howick free delivery times: 15h00-17h00
Merrivale free delivery times: 15h00-17h00
Hilton free delivery times: 15h00-17h00
PMB delivery times: 15h00-17h00
For same-day delivery please make sure you place your order before 14h00.
More about Fern Hill Hotel.
As we look forward to the easing of restrictions on our day to day lives, we eagerly anticipate the joy of spending time with our families again.
Grandparents have been missed, during the last 11 weeks, their absence has been deeply felt. Grandparents provide an extra layer of support and are an important, positive, influence on the social and emotional development of children. They listen, advise and are a link to our children’s cultural heritage.
They offer an affordable babysitting service too!
From our CG Carers' family to all the amazing Grandparents, ‘We love and miss you, see you soon!'
More about CG Carers.
"Wait and see" is the current status of The Hill’s 1000 Paws Walk which brings in a large chunk of funds annually for our SPCA. Due to the Covid-19 restrictions, the event may not be permitted. We appeal to everyone to support this necessary service.
For donations:
uMngeni SPCA
Nedbank
Account number 1133791700
Branch code 198765
Reference: Your name
More about uMngeni SPCA.
I have begun to hear a number of things being said by friends and family, in response to my “how are you coping?” question, that are of concern to me. And what I am hearing more and more of, are comments such as the following:
- I am feeling a lack of motivation at the moment
- I have lost interest in….
- I am comfort eating a lot at the moment
- I am not sleeping so well
- I don’t seem to have as much energy as I used to
- I am really finding it hard to focus on anything,
- I can’t seem to make even the most simple of decisions
- I am just feeling irritable
So, what could be going on? Well, it is possible that some of my friends and family are beginning to show definite signs of chronic emotional stress while others may, in fact, be showing the first signs of having dropped into what is termed a “depressive episode”.
And none of this is a big surprise to me. That’s because the last month-and-a-half has been (very) stressful for most people. The high levels of uncertainty, in particular, have resulted in elevated levels of anxiety. And in many families the 24/7 nature of the household relationships, over the past six weeks, is resulting in growing levels of frustration (if not open warfare).
And both anxiety and frustration will trigger the stress response in most of us. This becomes very unhealthy when it occurs day in and day out for an extended period of time as has been the case since the lockdown began. Prolonged periods of emotional stress result in chronic, systemic inflammation of the brain and body which, for those of us with either a genetic predisposition and/or a psychological vulnerability for clinical depression, will invariably lead us into a depressive episode.
Somewhat fortunately, the term “depressive episode” is used because of the fact that it is generally time-bound in nature, and is usually not expected to continue ad infinitum. It is still very unpleasant, however, and is associated with a number of common problems (or symptoms).
If any of the comments that I listed at the beginning of this newsletter resonate with you to some degree and/or with someone close to you, it is worthwhile noting that everyone who suffers a depressive episode will be subjected to a set of problems that is somewhat unique. The intensity of the problems and the particular combination of problems are rarely the same for any two people.
This is largely because your brain is unique in structure because of the unique set of genes and life experiences that you have. As a result, your brain will (mis)function slightly differently from the brain of any other person struggling with depression.
The problems associated with a depressive episode involve compromised functioning in the emotional, physical, and mental (cognitive) areas of one’s being. And for it to be formally diagnosed the majority of the following problems/symptoms must be present most of the day nearly every day (for a period of at least two weeks):
1. Emotional problems/symptoms
- Feelings of worthlessness
- Hopelessness
- Excessive or inappropriate guilt
- Depressed mood (e.g., feeling sad or empty) or appearing tearful to others
- Loss of interest or pleasure in most activities, including hobbies
2. Physical problems/symptoms
- Change in appetite or a significant weight loss or gain
- Change in sleep patterns, e.g insomnia
- Fatigue or loss of energy
- Psychomotor agitation and/or retardation
3. Thinking-related problems/symptoms
- Diminished ability to think or concentrate,
- Indecisiveness
- Diminished short-term memory
- Negative thinking
- Heightened levels of Irritability
- Recurrent thoughts of death or of committing suicide
Common behavioural problems include anger attacks/aggression, alcohol or drug abuse, and risk-taking behaviour.
If you think that you or someone you care about is experiencing a depressive episode please send me an email to: This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. and I will send you the link to my short Youtube video that I have created in order to help individuals determine whether it is depression or not.
Keep an eye open for my next newsletter delivered to your inbox next week.
With warm regards,
Alistair Mork-Chadwick (Psychologist)
Bridget Erskine, a KZN Midlands property agent with Pam Golding Properties shares her lockdown thoughts, 'Hello fellow South Africans, I am so proud of this wonderful country and how we are all making the very best of this difficult situation. During this time, I have decided we are definitely not turning into the ‘Lockdown Loners’ but the ‘Lockdown Learners’! Pam Golding is forging ahead with updating and enhancing our skills as agents. After many years in the property business, I realise up-skilling is an ongoing and empowering exercise which I have fully embraced!
Our property market in Hilton and Howick – which includes the beautiful St. John’s Village is moving steadily upwards due to new developments and the general expansion in the area which is so encouraging. Now is definitely the time to browse what is available on our webpage and contact us agents for many more properties.
It’s great to be able to exercise in the early morning and I have sensed a much kinder and friendlier attitude by all. We have always been a happy nation and now the concern for each other is something we have embraced and will carry forward into the future. I miss face-to-face chats as does everyone else but we are strong and will survive!'
News supplied by Pam Golding Properties.
FENCEWORKS is open for emergency repairs. Don't put yourself or your property at risk. Contact them to repair your fencing and electric fencing.
Contact Chris on 060 935 6354.
More about FENCEWORKS.
In 1989, two brave souls, a professional Swiss Lausanne Hotel School hotelier and Cordon Bleau Chef, moved from the comfort of their Johannesburg lives to start a new life in the rustic Natal Midlands. They had discovered the derelict Fern Hill farm in their quest to relocate their family out of the rush of city life. It was love at first sight.
What most people saw as condemned buildings and a waste of space, they saw as new possibilities and envisaged a happy space for their family to grow up in.
With many calling them crazy (including their parents) for buying the place and very few companies in the Howick region willing to help them rebuild, they both launched into rebuilding what they could by themselves with a small team they hired off the streets.
For 9 months they worked tirelessly on the buildings they could salvage, teaching themselves new skills as they went and not being able to afford to raze it to the ground and rebuild from scratch (as so many had advised). Buildings were built up brick by brick, foundations were underpinned by hand, roofs were laid with no safety equipment to assist them, gardens were created where once only veld, bugweed and blackjacks existed.
Blood, sweat and literal tears dragged Fern Hill from the brink of extinction.
On the 1st of May 1990, Gion and Karen Poltera and their small team managed to open Fern Hill's doors again. They weren't ready, but they had run out of money and needed to earn again. The same small team who learnt how to build, then had to then learn how to waiter, chef, housekeep, bar-tend and welcome the first of their guests. The hotel fast became a roaring success. The once unskilled employees became highly skilled and an asset to the company.
The hotel grew and developed over the years, fast adapting to the needs of society and the economy: hotel, conference centre, wedding venue and training college. In keeping with their roots of the business, Gion and Karen sponsored unskilled youth through their training college every year to give back to society. Their strong sense of social responsibility also shown in the millions they raised for charities and NGOs over the last 30 years.
It feels fitting that today, exactly 30 years later, Fern Hill is birthing a new division of itself to survive. That Fern Hill will have to remodel and reshape it's very way of existing. Gion and Karen's core ethos of hard work, creativity, learning new skills, thinking on your feet and service excellence leads us to soldier on in these extremely difficult times.
News supplied by Fern Hill Hotel.
Mushka