Relationship conflicts within the household relationships are very often related to the attachment styles of the individuals involved.
An attachment style is a set of automatic relationship processes that each of us as children developed to help us cope with our particular family environment.
And because these patterns of coping with the interpersonal environment were practiced so many times during our childhood and adolescent years, they become entrenched in our thoughts, behaviors and emotional systems… and so powerfully influence how you behave and respond within your adult relationships today.
In this newsletter, I will again be drawing on the writings of well known US psychologist Hal Shorey to help you to identify one of the common styles of insecure attachment, termed the anxious attachment style, and to start to learn how to cope with this attachment style in yourself and/or others.
Three key questions for you to consider that relate to your relationships with your important people (such as your partner, close friends, etc):
Do you find that others are reluctant to get as close to you as you would like?
Do you often worry that your important people don’t really love you or won’t want to stay or spend time with you?
Do you often want to get very close to your important others and this sometimes scares people away and/or leaves you feeling scared that you will be let down?
If your answer is “Yes (most of the time)” to these questions, then it is likely that you have what is termed an “insecure attachment style” and, more specifically, an “anxious attachment style.”
Scientific research suggests that many of us are likely to have an anxious attachment style. So, if you don’t have this personality style then you are most likely in relationships with people who do. Understanding this personality style and how it impacts emotions and interpersonal behaviours can help to relieve distress and conflict, avoid damage, and promote healthy and mutually satisfying relationships.
Imagine the following situation involving you and a close friend or significant other:
After an interaction with this person they seem rather distant and dismissing of you. The person leaves without providing an explanation, and you feel a slight surge of anxiety as you try to work out why the person behaved towards you in this way.
As the day progresses, you think about all of the other interactions you have had with this person. You recall other times that you have felt rejected and “less than.” You wonder if that person really likes you. You might begin to feel angry or misunderstood. And it is not long before your discomfort causes you to give them a call.
You ask the person if anything is wrong and it is very difficult to hide the upset in your voice. The other person tells you that you are over-reacting, and sounds irritated. After the call, you feel even worse.
At the end of the day, you call the person again and it turns into an unpleasant argument with accusatory statements flying between the two of you, and you end up feeling angry and betrayed.
Similar situations might unfold in relation to your boss and/or certain colleagues. You often perceive these individuals to be rather distant with you and, as a result, you spend a lot of time ruminating over your recent interactions with them.
And when you confront any one of these individuals you often leave the interaction feeling as though they look down on you.
When trying to determine what happened in any one of these difficult interactions, the truth is often that you will have experienced an emotional hijacking because of an “anxious attachment style” that became wired within your personality and emotional system during your childhood years.
If you do have an anxious attachment style, you can learn to recognize and understand it, capitalise on the strengths that it gives you, and override the parts that cause you problems. If you don’t have an anxious attachment style, then this may help you understand those who do.
There are more than 40 years of research on attachment styles, which indicates that if you have an anxious style (called “preoccupied” in adults), you were probably raised by one or more parents who were inconsistent in how they responded to you when you were young, especially when you were upset and needed reassurance.
Sometimes the parent is warm and accepting and at other times cold and rejecting. The key is that their child never knows what s/he is going to get. Because children need to feel safe and secure in their relationships with their parents, these children will learn to closely monitor their parents so that they can tell how their parents will respond to them.
This monitoring enables the child to shift his or her behaviour in order to head off painful rejection. This coping strategy works well during childhood but becomes the automatic relationship mode in adulthood.
Over the course of childhood, the anxiously attached person becomes “hypervigilant” for threat cues and “preoccupied” with his/her close relationships. This style reflects a “hyper-activation” of the attachment system wherein the person’s social-threat-detection apparatus is permanently stuck in the “on position.”
Brain imaging research shows that those brain structures that identify threat cues in the environment are actually larger in people with anxious attachment styles.
So, if you have this style, you are likely to pick up readily on subtle emotional cues from others, experience strong emotional reactions, take a long time to calm yourself down, and ruminate while you are activated.
Your thoughts ‘force’ you to fix the situation and you enact behaviours to do just that, such as confronting the person who you feel is rejecting you. The problem is that what you do to fix things often results in just making them worse.
The good news is that having an overly sensitive threat detector can make you very empathetic and compassionate to the emotional experiences of others. You can also take some of the following steps to control the negative aspects of this pattern:
• Realize that your threat detector will often give you false positive readings.
• Be aware that it will be hard to think clearly when you are emotionally activated.
• Give yourself 30 minutes or more to calm down before responding.
• If the other person tries to distance him/herself, leave it and try again later.
• Tell yourself there is nothing to fix, and that it can wait until tomorrow.
• Distract yourself or do something else to take your mind off of it.
• Acknowledge that rehashing the problem with your friends might keep you activated instead of making you feel better.
Crucially, the brains of people with anxious attachment styles will interpret neutral facial expressions from others as a threat cue and as an indicator that they may reject you. So, your friend or partner who is trying to calm you down by not reacting or remaining calm while you are upset might just be having the opposite effect.
If you can accept that it was your childhood home environment that shaped your emotional system and relationship patterns, you may be able to stop blaming yourself.
And taking a mindfulness course can help you to begin to identify your habitual way of relating to others especially during difficult and/or stressful situations. This will enable you to gradually make the changes that will allow your relationships to flourish within the home environment and elsewhere.
With warm regards,
Alistair Mork-Chadwick (Psychologist)
Small is beautiful - Groundcover Leather Company
Ten minutes from Howick on the Curry’s Post road, you will find Groundcover Leather Company, an early Midlands Meander member and one of its most popular stops. Established on a farm in 1990, Groundcover started out with two leatherworkers producing four pairs of shoes a day and selling at local craft markets. It now employs over twenty people and caters to a growing base of regular customers, who travel from as far as Durban, Johannesburg and Cape Town especially to renew or repair their old favourite pair of shoes.
Despite this considerable growth, Groundcover remains small in its approach to manufacturing and in its business orientation. According to the owners, “being small allows us to cultivate the many relationships that are behind our success as an enterprise — with our customers, our suppliers and, above all, with our employees and our Curry’s Post community, where most of them come from. It also lets us concentrate on maintaining the superior, handcrafted quality our products have come to be known for.”
In these days of mass-produced, cheap imports — which can now be found right on their doorstep — it is this ability to produce high quality yet affordable products and to provide personalized service, that helps Groundcover remain reasonably unaffected.
Set on beautiful surroundings, Groundcover’s unique settler’s cottage showroom has become an almost compulsory stop on the Meander, stocking an extensive range of leather shoes, boots and sandals; handbags, briefcases, rucksacks and travel bags; and belts, purses and other accessories. A growing selection of Nguni hide products is also available
There is much more than a fine shopping experience on offer, though. An exquisite bronze sculpture of Grimm’s The Elves and the Shoemaker, by Midlands artist Abbo Hall, is on permanent exhibition on the shop’s front lawn. Visitors are also welcome to view Groundcover shoes in the making, to have a picnic on the grounds, or even spend the afternoon hiking around the 160-hectare farm, spotting reedbuck, hares, a variety of birds and, with any luck, a colourful herd of Nguni cattle. And Now…..The Barn Owl coffee café has opened, serving artisan coffee and a wonderfully healthy and tasty lunch menu.
Pictured here: What do you think of our Holly boot? Now in Navy and Yellow.
* Did you know we choose to focus our corporate responsibility efforts on our community. Your purchase goes towards our efforts to subsidise the cost of school fees, books and extramural activities of our staff’s children.
More about Groundcover Leather Company.
Dementia caregivers must take care of their own mental health during lockdown
South Africans — and the world — are now months into “shelter at home” decrees, as the novel coronavirus (COVID-19) continues to make its devastating mark on the world. For carers of people living with dementia, isolating at home means being the primary (or sole) caregiver around the clock — piling stressor on top of existing stressors, and making burnout an ever more imminent threat.The South African Depression and Anxiety Group (SADAG) calls depression the silent killer and reports that around 20% of South Africans will experience a depressive disorder at least once in their lifetime, and that women are twice as likely to suffer from depression than men. Incidentally, women also form the majority of caregivers.
Clinical psychologist, Louis Awerbuck, a speaker at the Livewell Wellness Talks, says caregivers are especially vulnerable because of the emotional burden they shoulder, and that they are keenly aware that there are very few aspects of human behaviour that we can control.
Awerbuck says there are often early signs of burnout apparent in the way you deal with those in your care. “If you are mentally fatigued, chances are that your own anticipatory anxiety is filtering into your caregiving.”
1. >> Struggling to maintain concentration while working;
2. >> Getting irritated with patients;
3. >> Secretly wishing that the day would pass as quickly as possible;
4. >> And not being able to remain in the moment with patients.
Caregivers, he adds, “have to guard against psychological burnout, and we have to monitor ourselves. Nobody else will do it for us.”
Awerbuck points out that caregivers, already know some of the ways of managing stress and anxiety of patients or loved ones, but the difficulty is implementing it for oneself.
1. >> Sticking to a routine;
2. >> Staying physically active;
3. >> Maintaining regular sleeping patterns; and
4. >> Focusing on areas that we can control and what is needed to be done.
Change your language
The idea of looking for silver linings is well established but can seem impossible in the face of such adversity. One approach is to actively change the narrative: instead of saying ‘I’m stuck inside’, try ‘I am safe inside’.
• >> opportunity for families to communicate;
• >> extra time to personally indulge in activities you previously never had time for;
• >> and most importantly, to seriously reconsider the way we manage ourselves and the planet.
Ask for help
Finally, reach out, early and often.
“Caregivers often feel understood by other caregivers,” he says, “so I suggest staying in regular contact with other carers.”
Finally, with lockdown in place, many therapists and counsellors have taken to providing online sessions through tools like Skype, Zoom or YouTube. Livewell is hosting free Wellness Talks on a variety of health & wellness topics. You can keep abreast on upcoming topics via the Livewell YouTube Channel.
Cautionary update from WESSA uMmngeni Valley
In order to protect our staff and interns as the COVID-19 Virus reaches its peak in RSA, we have decided to close our reception until further notice. We have also closed the booking options for onsite accommodation.
Visitors are still allowed to book online through
KZN Trail Running:
https://kzntrailrunning.co.za/…/wessa-umngeni-trail-run-ju…/
or the MCSA:
https://www.quicket.co.za/…/106560-umgeni-valley-nature-r…/…
Season Ticket holders can use their access codes, but the front gate will not be accessible unless you have a time slot or a gate code.
We apologise for any inconvenience caused in this regard.
The WESSA uMngeni Valley Management Team.
Karkloof Conservancy Yarrow Farm Walk open for bookings
Karkloof Conservancy is opening up a 10.6km walk and a 4km walk.
R30per adult and R15per child.
Booking in advance is compulsory.
Contact This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.
BOOKING PROCEDURES FOR WALKS:
Booking in advance via email is compulsory, as the walks are on working farms, on private land. This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.
The office is open on a Monday, Wednesday and Friday 8 am - 4 pm. So please be patient with response time.
Walkers welcome 6 am - 2 pm
When booking please indicate: How many people, which day and what time you wish walk and give us your telephone number.
Cost: R30 per adult, Children under 12 R15, Children under 5 Free
Your booking will be confirmed with a reference number. You will need this number as proof of the booking. Please use the reference number and your name when paying via eft or paying cash/using the honesty box situated outside the office door. Please ensure you sign the indemnity form and register on your way in and out so we know you have returned safely.
Banking details: Preferred method of payment: EFT
Karkloof Conservation Centre
FNB Howick 220725
Account No: 62045693860
Reference no: this will be given to you when you make a booking
Please note: You are on private property. This is a working farm.
Please stay on the path and or road, do not wander off. Do not drink from the river.
Let us respect the birds and animals in their natural habitat. This is their home and you are a guest. Do not approach the Cranes or any other bird or animal.
Let's keep our noise levels down and not litter.
Also, no fires are permitted. Be careful of cars, trucks and tractors etc on the road.
No walkers after 2 pm. So please adhere to the booking guidelines outlined, to avoid disappointment.
Wear suitable clothing, take your own hat and water. Follow the arrows.
Visitors are asked to take personal responsibility for social distancing and for following hygiene protocols
Your support helps us maintain the facilities we love to share with others. Thank you.
If you haven't been here before. We are 15km up the Karkloof road, on the right-hand side. At the entrance to Gartmore Farm
In case of Emergency phone Charlie: 082 809 2590 or Jacquie: 083 4093 278
YOUR VISIT WILL BE ENTIRELY AT YOUR OWN HEALTH RISK AND WE TRUST YOU UNDERSTAND THIS CAUTION.
MASKS ARE TO BE WORN AT ALL TIMES
Hiking Trail Info
Yarrow Falls Walk - Long Version Approx 10.6km | Cost: R30pp Adult. R15 for children under 12 years
Directions:
Park your vehicle at the Karkloof Conservation Centre and sign in. Follow the markers.
Walk down the grass path, parallel to the Avenue of Liquid Amber trees.
When this path comes to an end wander onto the dirt road that leads you down towards the river. Cross over the bridge and walk towards the first homestead. About 2.9km from the Gartmore farm gate. Stay on the road.
Just past the first house on your left, you will see a paddock gate with a small sign that says F8.
Go into this paddock (if the gate is open please leave it open and if closed, please leave it closed) and follow the dirt road/track down to the small stream, through the glade of trees. Stay on this road and when it forks keep right.
Follow the dirt road through the field, down to the river.
Walk along the brush cut path parallel to the river, until you get to the Yarrow falls.
Careful here it is very rocky, there may be hidden rocks in the grass.
This is where you can enjoy the river and your picnic.
Walk back the same way.
Route Description: Predominately flat, meandering farm roads, dirt tracks and grass paths. There are a few rocks to look out for around the river/falls area. This is a working farm so the shale road can get quite busy with trucks and tractors. Take care. Do not drink from the river.
Difficulty rating: Farm/field road uneven ground (bring a walking stick if need be), little to no shade. Easy to moderate, no hiking experience needed. But you need to be fit enough to do 10km.
No water to drink - take your own, bring a hat.
Yarrow Falls Walk - Short Version Approx 4km | Cost: R30pp R15 for children under 12 years
Route Description:
Difficulty rating: Farm/field road uneven ground (so bring a walking stick if need be), little to no shade. Easy, no hiking experience needed. Bring your own water and a hat. Do not drink from the river.
Directions:
Drive down the Ave of Liquid Amber trees, towards the river. Cross over the bridge and look for the first homestead on your left. Approx 2.9km from the Farm Gate. Just past the first house, you will see a paddock gate with a small sign that says F8. Before the main house entrance (second house on left). Park your car here (not in front of the gate).
Follow the road down to the small stream, through the glade of trees. Stay on this road and when it forks keep right. Keep right. Follow the road through the field, down to the river.
Walk along the brush cut path parallel to the river until you get to the Yarrow falls. Careful here it is very rocky. There may be hidden rocks in the grass. This is where you can enjoy the river and your picnic. Walk back the same way.
Pam Golding Properties' Hilton branch has relocated
We are so excited to announce that our Hilton branch has moved back into the vibrant space of The Quarry Shopping Centre. We first opened our Hilton office at The Quarry back in 1994 in the first shop on the Spar side of the centre. We fondly remember having Pam Golding there to celebrate our opening with us. Sadly we couldn’t celebrate our new opening in the same style under the current circumstances, but we do look forward to seeing our clients in the hustle and bustle of the centre and we welcome all visitors to pop in for a quick visit on your way past. You can find us in our new home at Shop 45 (next to Clicks), from 1st July onwards.
Our contact details remain the same: 033 343 1233 or This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.. More about Pam Golding Properties.

UCSI NPC requires Operations Manager
The UCSI NPC is looking to employ a dynamic, motivated community-orientated individual to fulfil the role of Operations Manager.
Who is the UCSI?
The uMngeni Community Safety Initiative (UCSI) is a WHOLE community SAFETY project, established to create safer communities, deflect crime and promote socio-economic prosperity through the use of effective ANPR (Automatic Number Plate Recognition) SNIPR CCTV camera surveillance and providing intelligence information to Law Enforcement Agencies.
The UCSI is a registered Not-for-Profit Company (NPC) whose focus is on the pro-active monitoring of vehicles entering and exiting our uMngeni communities. The UCSI works alongside all Local and Provincial Law Enforcement Agencies as well as affiliated Security Companies.
The UCSI embraces synergy and collective efforts in fighting crime. The UCSI is driven by our communities, for our communities and operates in our communities. The UCSI is endorsed by the uMngeni Municipality.
Requirements of the position are:
o Mature person with previous management experience
o Ability to perform operational, administrative and PR functions
o Good command of spoken and written English
o Ability to speak in public
o Computer literate
o Drivers licence
o Locally based
Please send a CV to This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.
Applications close Monday 29 June 2020 @ 12 pm
Successful applicants will be contacted telephonically for an interview.
FreeMe update on female Serval
Working with ToPS Species (Threatened or Protected Species).
Update on our female Serval.
This cat is completely wild (just the way we want them). We just managed to snap this picture before she went into hiding again. On arrival this little one was quite thin, her sibling had died of emaciation, we were concerned about how long it would take her to recover. However, she has completely surpassed our expectations. She is growing strong and is capable of eating whole prey foods, her climbing skills are excellent and when she hides you can't find her at all. There is no doubt in our minds that she is going to do just fine after release.
We love what we do, and how we do it.
Would you like to be a part of our family, inspiring an educated empathy for our wildlife and the environment?
We would love you on board as a Custodian...and yes, businesses can join too as a Corporate Custodian.
http://www.freemekzn.co.za/become-a-custodian/
More about Free Me Wildlife.
Icy cold snaps from Karkloof Conservancy
Karkloof Conservancy has noted the arrival of winter over the last few days, -8 degrees was recorded at 6 am one morning over the past weekend in the KZN Midlands. These photos were taken at 10.30am in the morning.
More about Karkloof Conservancy.

Walk or run for International Autism Awareness, Saturday, 1 August
Our Autism Awareness Run/Walk event is in it’s 4th year. We host it in April each year as April is Autism Awareness month worldwide. This year we had to cancel due to COVID-19 which meant we received no income for the therapy sponsorship we do. We decided to host a virtual event instead which meant we could invite the whole country and even the whole world as the run /walk will take place in each participant’s neighbourhood. So far we have 7 countries participating including South Africa, U.K. USA, Germany, Sweden, Australia and Seychelles.
Our event started in 2015 with myself and 7 of my staff from Breakthrough Interventions (We are a therapy centre for children on the Autism Spectrum) when we joined a local 5km women’s race and had T-shirts made promoting Autism Awareness. The following year we had 50 people join us at a local fun run event to promote Autism awareness and the following year in 2017 I had formed a committee with 2 other parents of children with Autism and we hosted our own event: The Blue and you Autism awareness run, which was later registered as a non-profit organisation. We had 300 people that first year and the event has grown each year. 2019 we had 1056 participants and were preparing for 1500 in 2020 when our event was cancelled.
Our event attracts different types of participants: people with Autism, their families and friends, professionals who work with people on the Autism Spectrum, members of the community and general public as well as athletes. Everyone who enters receives a banner to attach to their shirts which reads “I am running for ________” where they can fill in the name of the person or Autism organisation they are dedicating their run to. We have been sponsored by Musgrave centre mall since our very first event and our other sponsors include Hollywood bets and The Department of Sports and Recreation, KZN.
Autism is a developmental condition affecting the following areas:
Social /communication
Behaviour
Sensory
Autism affects 1 in 54 children and sadly in South Africa, services and appropriate schooling for those affected with the condition are in short supply. Our event our goal each year is to raise awareness about the condition as well as funds to sponsor therapy for children with Autism from low-income families.
When: Saturday 1 August 2020
Time: between 8 am and 3 pm
Welcome and the start of the event live on our Facebook page at 8 am
Prizegiving also live on our Facebook page at 4:30 pm.
Winners will be announced and arrangements made to get prizes to winners.
https://www.facebook.com/blueandyouautismawareness/
How much? R30pp
Where to enter? eventtiming https://www.eventtiming.info/entryonline.php?id=233
Prizes for:
best dressed in Blue
best homemade banner
1st place men 8km
1st place women 8km
1st place men 5km
1st place women 5km
We are also accepting donations for those who are unable to take part, also through the eventtiming link.
We can be contacted via email at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. or via our Facebook page link above or phone 0837038891.
Pictured above the Collins family, left to right: Ethan (back), Jachin and Malachi (middle) then James and Caz.
Pictured here RHS L-R: The committee; Momeen Omar, Caz Collins, James Collins, back Sheldon Randall, Joy Randall, Gareth DeBroize, Robyn DeBroize and their daughter Kenzie (not committee of course).
News submitted by Caz Collins.
How to reduce stress more effectively #13 - Relationships
Congratulations to Brenda Kerr, from the KZN Midlands, for having won last week’s competition and the prize of free access to my new 8-week online Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction course for herself and her friends!
As ever-growing numbers of individuals and couples visit my office for therapy the common difficulty that is being voiced, perhaps more than ever before, relates to relationship conflict and dissatisfaction within the household environment.
These relationship difficulties are almost always related to the attachment styles of the individuals in the struggling relationship.
An attachment style is a set of over-learned relationship processes that each of us developed to help us cope with our specific family/parental environment in childhood.
And because these patterns of perceiving, understanding, and coping with the interpersonal environment are practiced so many times across our childhood and adolescent years, they become automatic processes that are ingrained, not only in our thoughts and behaviors but in the structures of our brains and emotional systems.
It is because of this that your attachment style continues to strongly influence how you behave and respond within your adult relationships.
In this newsletter I will again be drawing on the writings of well known US psychologist Hal Shorey to help you to identify the healthiest of all attachment styles, termed the secure attachment style, and to start to learn the processes needed to build the associated relationship behaviours”.
Three key questions for you to consider in terms of how you relate to other people:
Do you find it relatively easy to get close to important others and depend on them and have them depend on you?
Do you very rarely worry about being abandoned and about others getting too close to you?
Do love and trust come relatively easily to you?
If your answer is “Yes” to each of these questions, then it is likely that you have a “secure attachment style.”
Whether you do or do not have a secure attachment style, however, this newsletter will help you understand yourself and the people you interact with. Understanding how and why people behave as they do will help to make it easier for you to engage in new behaviors that will support positive interpersonal interactions within your home environment and elsewhere.
And because attachment styles never stop developing, you can also learn to choose and shape your present-day social environments in a way that works for you.
So, how do some adults come to have a secure attachment style?
Well, it starts with how parents respond to their child’s needs and soothe (or don't soothe) the child when they are distressed. When parents are consistently available, warm, and responsive when the child feels distressed, the child develops a secure attachment style.
One way that parents respond consistently is by being sensitively attuned to their child’s emotional cues. This means that parents accurately gauge the level and type of distress that their child is feeling. When parents show that they perceive their child’s feelings accurately they teach their child that their emotions are valid and deserving of recognition.
Parents who recognize and validate their child’s emotions provide the “mirrors” through which the child learns that what they are feeling inside corresponds to events in the real external world.
Responsive parents do not just mirror and reflect back their child’s emotional experiences however. They take it a step further to soothe and calm the child when upset or distressed.
For example, a toddler who falls and hurts her knee will typically look at her mother’s or father’s face for a non-verbal signal as to how serious the injury is. If the child sees a pained expression that says “Ouch, that hurt!” the crying starts immediately.
The child learns that what she sees expressed on the parent’s face is what she is feeling inside. Once the parent accurately mirrors the child’s feeling, the astute parent will then alter her facial expression into a subtle smile, hug, and expression of compassion that says, “That hurt. But, now you are going to get better and be OK.” And thus the child learns that he/she can get hurt, but that it will pass and he/she will feel better again.
In other words, our parents help us organize our emotions until we develop the ability to do this for ourselves.
Because the child learns that he/she can feel distressed and then get comforted in order to feel better, they learn that difficult emotions can be tolerated and managed effectively.
And so once the person grows into adulthood, they don’t worry too much about getting hurt in relationships. They know that they can tolerate such pain, so they are free to be themselves and not behave in a needy, aggressive, or demanding fashion.
As they mature into adulthood, secure children become increasingly efficacious individuals who believe that; (a) they are lovable and worthy of support, (b) others are available and responsive, and (c) the world is a safe and predictable place.
Secure adults can tolerate frustration and ambiguity in relationships, and can deal effectively with others (without being over or under responsive).
In the next newsletter, I will describe what happens when parents do not respond to their children in ways that foster secure attachment.
If you have one of the “insecure” attachment styles, you will learn how you can capitalize on your specific strengths and use the processes of secure attachment to override the problematic emotions or behaviors that get in the way of having satisfying relationships.
And as has been my personal experience, taking a mindfulness course can help you to begin to identify your habitual way of relating to others especially during difficult and/or stressful situations. This will enable you to gradually make the changes that will allow your relationships to flourish within the home environment and elsewhere.
With warm regards,
Alistair Mork-Chadwick (Psychologist)
P.S. If you are experiencing emotional stress at present then click the button below and take a look at my new 8-week online mindfulness-based stress reduction course. And send me an email at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. for the discount that I am offering readers of my newsletter until the end of July 2020
It's a Finely Fixed kitchen
If you need a kitchen repair or pretty much any other fix around your home or business, request a quote from Garry Barlow at Finely Fixed. Pictured here is a 'Before...' and 'After...' image to illustrate what you can expect. More about the services available from Finely Fixed.

Groundbreaking South African technology detects SARS-CoV-2 RNA in sewage - in the KZN Midlands
COVID-19 POLICY-MAKING — FROM OUR POO
GreenHill Laboratories becomes the first contract laboratory in South Africa to detect SARS-CoV-2 RNA in sewage as part of a commercial virus risk forensic service
[Hilton, KwaZulu-Natal, July 2020] GreenHill Laboratories was part of history when it became the first contract laboratory in Africa to extract and detect SARS-CoV-2 RNA from sewage early in June 2020 as part of a full-service virus risk forensic programme. The process involves taking bulk, composite samples through to a laboratory capable of meeting the needs of clients in both the public and private sectors.
The Proof of Concept was the culmination of a team effort spearheaded by Prof. Anthony Turton of the University of the Free State and Amanzi-4-All, coordinated by Mr. Neil Madgwick of Praecautio, with sampling undertaken by Mr. Kevin Lindsay of Instru-Serve. The Impuma Group, through Amanzi-4-All, was instrumental in the sponsorship of the trial.
The pilot trial took sewage samples from five wastewater treatment works (WWTW) based in Gauteng that were transported to GreenHill Laboratories in Hilton, KZN (the town where the first South African case of COVID-19 was identified).
The samples were collected using automatic samplers over a period of 24 hours to optimise statistical rigour in the results.
Under the leadership of GreenHill Laboratories’ director, Dr. Shaun Groenink, the samples were processed and analysed by principal molecular biologist, Dr. Cara-Lesley Bartlett. The viral RNA was extracted and identified based on protocols published by the Dutch KWR Water Research Institute and the USA’s Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC).
The detection by polymerase chain reaction (PCR) is identical to the method being used in many medical pathology laboratories around the world. It is based on the N1 and N2 regions of the nucleocapsid gene of the virus. PCR is the amplification of small amounts of specific RNA (after transcription to DNA) to detectable levels that are then visualised by fluorescence.
Three of the five samples yielded detectable levels of viral RNA, with the laboratory working on procedures to increase the sensitivity of the test. The same five WWTWs were resampled and analysed with results consistent with expectations.
The Proof of Concept delivered by GreenHill Laboratories demonstrates that:
1. COVID-19 can be detected in wastewater
2. South Africa has the capability for this testing – samples do not have to be sent to other countries for testing
3. Statistically relevant sampling and timeous delivery to the laboratory are possible
4. Existing protocols and kits have been used – there is no need to develop specific kits
The establishment of a Proof of Concept facilitates the development of additional parameters, such as the quantification of viral load. This additional data can be used to monitor community-wide viral load, and assess whether various mitigation strategies are working or not.
Through collaborative partnerships, the logistical supply chain from point of sample to the laboratory can now handle national-level upscaling, and Amanzi-4-All can offer this service to any client immediately, including both the public and private sectors. There has been interest in this technology from a range of role players in North America, Africa, the Middle East, and Southeast Asia and the South African government.
Transforming the approach to managing COVID-19 in South Africa and across the continent
The capacity of this South African laboratory to detect SARS-CoV-2 in sewage expedites its application by epidemiologists, public health scientists and those charged with looking after the health and safety of students, visitors and employees. This includes predicting and monitoring potential COVID-19 hotspots to focus intervention by decision-makers and public health officials in these areas, as well as assessing the true extent of SARS-CoV-2 infections.
These new sampling and testing capabilities can provide robust information to both government and private sector decision-makers in their efforts to contain the spread of the coronavirus while reopening the economy.
Rapid deployment across all sectors of society is key to limiting the pandemic’s effects
The team is currently expanding and optimising the value chain to include individual buildings, schools, mines and businesses.
Greenhill Laboratories’ Chairman Mr. Austin Hlongwane says: “I would personally like to commend the GreenHill Laboratories team for all the diligent effort that they have put into this project. Their dedication, desire to experiment, out-of-the-box thinking and personal passion is unparalleled. As a result, I am hopeful for positive outcomes in the fight against COVID-19.”
GreenHill Laboratories is honoured to be a part of this project and looks forward to participating in the management of COVID-19 in South Africa. The laboratory will continue to develop and refine these protocols and expand on their scope and application.
Pictured here: Dr Dr. Cara-Lesley Bartlett (Above LHS) with Dr. Shaun Groenink (RHS).
News supplied.
Bright, cheery revamp at Howick High's Midmar House
Midmar House, Howick High School's weekly boarding establishment, had a bright and cheerful revamp during the lockdown as Superintendent, Mr Mark Taylor and his family kept themselves busy by redecorating.
We also give our grateful thanks to Mrs Vorster for her donation of masks for our grade 12 boarders and to Mr Eggar for his donation if two sanitiser stands with foot pumps.
More about Howick High School.
Stock up on lockdown sanity savers at Nuts About Books and Toys
Lockdown sanity busters can be found in Howick at Nuts About Books & Toys. Get your book or puzzle soon, these are not just for kids but work for adults with too much lockdown time on their hands too!
Nuts About Books & Toys is very different from the average toy shop you will find in a shopping mall – sourcing unique toys and beautifully illustrated, wholesome children’s books by well-known and loved authors. Be warned, you will need plenty of time to browse in this quaint, one-of-a-kind country book and toy shop!

Rainbow Bridge of HOPE in Howick
Rainbows have been popping up all over during the Covid-19 crisis - bright moments, shared with strangers, as many of us struggle with the current reality.
As the crisis hit, the people of Howick rose to the challenge to ensure that less fortunate folk had something to eat, contributing to many causes and projects. African Spirit is one of the organisations distributing food parcels, nourishing soup and dog food in Shiyabazali.
Before Lockdown, the crafters in the settlement crocheted, sewed, and knitted goods for sale at the African Spirit shop near the Falls – but now there are no customers and the programme ground to a halt, meaning no income for the crafters.
Many people in Howick cross the uMngeni River bridge each day to go about their business, so the idea of a rainbow gift to the whole community was born. “We want to thank the people of Howick, for helping us, our children and animals during this time. Without this help we would be hungry.” said Ignetia Tseka. Patrecia Pherane added, “Lockdown has been very depressing, the rainbow colours make us happy! My favourite colour is green, so I enjoyed making those stripes. We are proud to be part of the Rainbow Bridge of Hope.”
At dawn on Sunday (the shortest day of the year), while most people were still tucked in bed, a small team quickly stitched the rainbow together, covering the railings in cheerful rainbow stripes, with the intention of bringing a smile to all who pass by.
Next month, the rainbow strips will be removed and sewn together into warm rainbow blankets for the community. Are you keen to have a little rainbow in your life every day?
Contact Judy to buy a snuggly multi-coloured beanie or pair of gloves and contribute to making sure the crafters start to earn an income again and can get back on their feet, rather than relying on the kindness of strangers.
Order a rainbow: 072 147 5106
Howick youth signs contract with the Sharks
Howick local, Andrew Beyrooti, the 1st XV lock at St Charles College, has been offered a contract with The Sharks.
Present during the signing at St Charles, to congratulate Andrew was, Mr van Blerk (Principal), Mr Irons (Director of Sport), Mr du Plessis (Rugby Specialist) as well as Mr Elder (Strength & Conditioning Specialist).
St Charles' 1st XV rugby coach, Mr Jackson, had the following to say, “I am extremely happy for Andrew as he is deserving of this opportunity due to the quality of person he is as well as the dedication he has shown to the game. He is a natural sportsman, with a high cognitive understanding of the game and has the physical presence to match. He will be an asset to the Sharks and his future coaching staff due to his dependability and dedication.” Our Rugby Specialist concluded, “I’m very proud of Andrew. He has great athletic ability and he has worked extremely hard to be given this opportunity. Andrew has set the bar for many St Charles College boys and I know that he will continue to grow and impress. I’m excited to see Andrew competing in a professional environment. He has strong leadership qualities and is just an all-round good guy. I wish him all the best for next year and can’t wait to see him represent the sharks at some level!”
Well done Andrew Beyrooti, Howick is proud of you.
Considering Human Distancing - How to Comply & Why
June 2020 - Landlords and business owners are facing new uncertainties everyday due to the Coronavirus pandemic. Chief among these anxieties is how they are required to adapt interiors and buildings to comply with new international regulations.
Dr Maria Neira of the World Health Organisation put it eloquently when she said, "The wealth of business depends on the health of workers." Bearing that in mind, an ethos of responsibility needs to be cultivated and landlords must proactively assist tenants to mitigate situations that could place them in harm's way.
A system to report possible risk factors and seek assistance should also be put in place. The Occupational Health and Safety system is there to maintain safe and healthy work environments and minimise risk to employees. The legislation has been adapted to add additional layers of protection for the unique circumstances of COVID-19.
According to Raghmah Solomon, CEO at Vortex Design Solutions, an Interior Design company specialising in compliance of building fire, HVAC and electrical systems - business owners and landlords can expect change in the following areas:
Shared Public Spaces:
- As some businesses require visitors to queue, landlords could assist by working together with tenants by allocating queuing space in common areas.
- Shared public areas should be as health friendly as possible and include wash or sanitising stations, as well as signage to educate individuals about health and safety protocols.
- Ensure sanitising wipes are available at regular touch points such as doors, entrances, keypads and elevator buttons for cleaning.
- All lobbies should provide hand sanitiser and have a system to ensure people entering the building are wearing masks. Lobbies must also be used to keep track of the amount of people in the building at any one time.
- Waiting areas should be redesigned to comply with the minimum 1.5m distancing and the fabrics of all public furniture should be bleach friendly and able to withstand repetitive cleaning.
- The necessary social distancing signage, such as informational posters, floor decals and limits for the number of people allowed in a lift at one time, should be visible and repeated throughout the space.
- If possible, doors could be left open during peak lockdown stages to prevent excessive touching.
- Stairwells should have hand sanitizer at the top and bottom of each flight and if possible, should be on a sensor or dispersed by an individual that can remind visitors to sanitise when they enter.
- All taps in the bathrooms must be working so that people can wash their hands. To ensure that the water bills stay in check, refit the tap spouts with water saving nozzles.
- Consider putting sensor operated soap dispensers in the bathrooms and check regularly that they are full.
Offices:
- Kitchens should have restricted access. Implementing alternating lunch and tea shifts will aid in ensuring the capacity of the kitchen area is always monitored.
- Providing employees with a set of cutlery or lunch wear with their name on it mitigates the risk of spread from people using shared cutlery.
- A wipe down protocol for the fridge, coffee machines, urns, kettles, toasters, printer stations, water coolers, microwave, filing cabinet, TV remotes and all surfaces should be implemented. All crockery, cutlery and glassware need to be packed away behind closed doors.
- Deliveries should be handled by dedicated staff who can monitor parcel collection and distribution inside the office area, and personal deliveries should be prohibited from being opened inside the office.
- General social distancing including wearing of masks, washing, and sanitising hands regularly and good health and hygiene practices are essential on an individual level.
- Staggering employees work hours to allow for spot cleaning before and after shifts is recommended, as well as a deep clean once a month at a minimum.
- A general hand wash station inside premises with warm water, limiting the bathroom to two people and food breaks are advised.
- Clean and sanitise aircon filters regularly and ensure they are in perfect working condition.
- For industries that cannot function without office bound staff, moving desks to the perimeter of the office into screened cubicle layouts. Moving desks closer to windows for better ventilation, also lowers the risk of continuously contaminating the space with airborne particles.
- Dividing the office up into individual offices or converting, even partially, to a work-from-home system might be a better long-term solution.
How to Comply in Retail:
- Start with instituting a new policy and procedure that includes an express dry-cleaning service between people fitting on and employees re-hanging on the rail or when people return clothing to a store.
- Jewellers and optometrists must have sanitizing stations where they can sanitize the product after it is fitted on a customer's face before it goes back on the shelf.
- Consider investing in online or e-commerce branches of your store to eliminate the risk posed by human interaction.
Applying social distancing in design means that business owners should consider changing their interior spaces as a permanent precautionary measure. Ultimately one needs to eliminate all the risks which may spread the virus. Using existing technology to its fullest extent, making products available online.
Because each building is unique and it is ideal for Vortex Design Solutions and a health and safety team to do a site consultation. Contact This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. or visit www.vortexdesignsolutions.com for more information.
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